Actually Being Alive
✅ Breathing, growing, and shipping features
💀 RIP (2017-2021) - As useful as a digital ghost
Landing Page Creation
✅ Beautiful, customisable landing pages with your branding
💀 Used to create pages, now creates only memories
Email List Building
✅ Smart email collection with unlimited campaigns (Pro+)
💀 Email lists that are now as useful as spam in a deleted inbox
Analytics Dashboard
✅ Real-time analytics with beautiful charts and insights
💀 Analytics that stopped tracking anything except our disappointment
Custom Domains
✅ Host your page on your own domain (Pro+)
💀 Custom domains that now redirect to the afterlife
Scheduled Launches
✅ Schedule your launch announcements in advance
💀 Schedule? More like "schedule for the graveyard"
Launch Day Boosts
✅ Get featured on our leaderboard when you launch
💀 Boost? The only thing boosting now is the server costs for their funeral
Customer Support
✅ Responsive support team that actually responds
💀 Support tickets that are now just digital tombstones
Future Updates
✅ Regular feature updates and improvements
💀 Updates stopped in 2021 - last update: "We're shutting down"
Pricing
✅ Transparent pricing starting at £9/month
💀 Free forever - because you can't charge for something that doesn't exist
Data Export
✅ Export your data anytime with CSV downloads
💀 Data export? More like data exorcism - good luck getting anything out
Multiple Projects
✅ Manage multiple projects from one dashboard
💀 Multiple projects? Try multiple broken dreams
